Too Human: A game best played when not played at all.
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Too Human reviewed... and it gets ugly.
Plus Valve introduces "The Sandvich!"
Posted
at
10:43 am
Too Human is a victim of its own hype.
After ten years of developmental limbo, after ten years of reviewers playing snippets of the game and declaring it an unqualified success, after ten long years Silicon Knights has finally released Too Human to the fawning masses.
Personally, I would have gladly waited 10 more if that means Dennis Dyack would get it right. Maybe if he spent less time trolling forums and spent more time with his development team this game would have been the critical success he envisioned.
Right now, Too Human is Too Bad.
Too Human is an RPG style “brawler” that re-invisions Norse mythology ala Tron, as the gods themselves are cybernetically enhanced beings who must repel a machine invasion that threatens the realms of man. As Baldur, you are able to select five skill trees to customize yourself, which are berserker, defender, champion, commando, and bioengineer.
Sounds good? That’s the problem – the game has always sounded good when reviewed piecemeal but in actuality, the game is a mess.
Graphically it is superior and makes the most of the Xbox 360’s hardware, but the game play – if not the story – are simplistic at best and underdone at worst. While there may be five classes in the game, the mobs you fight are all dealt with in the same manner no matter what class you may be. Melee fights are fun, and once you get into a pattern and start juggling the mobs you begin to see where the game might become fun. But ranged weapons are clumsy and do not target other mobs as quickly as you need them to.
Perhaps the most annoying feature of this game occurs in death, which triggers an insufferably long resurrection sequence as a cybernetic Valkyrie comes to give you a new lease on life. This cannot be skipped. At first it was annoying, but then I decided to play a new game: how many things can I do during a long and insufferable cut scene. Let’s see; I did some laundry, made a sandwich, vacuumed my room, and unloaded the dishwasher. Hurray for chores, boo for fun.
Another aspect of this game that annoys me to no end is the controls. Combat is basically controlled by the right analog stick of your Xbox 360 controller. Yes, when you move the stick, you attack.
Is it me or is that just a little too simplistic? Why not just slave combat controls to the start button? Hit start = you win. Manual dexterity and skill doesn’t seem too important when you can play this game with your feet.
This game is a rental at most and at the very least a pass. I would only recommend it to people who have cut me off in traffic or talk during movies.
Team Fortress 2 gets Heavy Update
Mmmmmm… “sandvich.” Team Fortress 2 Heavy players just got a shot in the arm. Always entertaining Valve released an update today that saw the tank-like Heavy recive some interesting updates: “Natasha,” a new mini-gun that actually slows down opponents; the “Killing Gloves of Boxing” which extends gives the Heavy five-seconds of gaurunteed crits; and “The Sandvich.”
Ah, the sandvich.
The sandvich will replenish the Heavy’s health by 120 points. Great for playing defense, but beware: the Heavy is basically incapacitated for four seconds while he eats, leaving him vulnerable to… well… everything.
Here’s the Valve video for the sandvich. Beware, hilarity ensues.
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